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Nov 21

Divorce With Young Children



The Effects of Divorce on Children

The effects of divorce on children could be massive, but this could be helped. The most common causes for divorce are family problems, physical or emoti 00004000 onal abuse, extramarital affairs, work stress and vices. Below are types of divorces you might want to familiarize with:

Legal divorce – is the lawful end of your marriage where you are allowed to remarry.
Economic divorce – involves the splitting of assets i.e.: money and property.
Co-parental divorce – is a type of divorce where both parents agree to support their child even though they no longer have spousal support for each other.

Common effects of divorce on children are psychological problems, poor intellectual development and affected parent-child relationships.

Psychological Effects:

The psychological effects of divorce on children can affect children as young as 6 years of age. Young children can develop anxiety disorders where they experience overwhelming fear of being abandoned. Their feelings of isolation and sadness can also manifest through other problems such as eating disorders.

Poor Intellectual Development:

About the author: What are the effects of divorce on children? Is your child coping well? Find out from the site of Isha Rowd on divorce and kids.

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children-217594.html

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    Can anyshare share a positive story of a divorce with young children?
    In my situation my husband is in the military and we are stationed far from “home”.

    I am torn between keeping the children close to where he currently is verses moving them back “home” where the rest of their family is. This is a 3-4 year tour, and staying would allow a shared custody environment, the other would be more holidays and school vacations.

    And please if your only advice is to stay together, that is not what I am looking to hear.

    • ANSWER:
      Well, my story isn’t one of divorce because we weren’t married, but it is a positive story as our situation has worked out better than I ever dreamed.

      When I got pregnant, we tried to make things work, but it just didn’t happen. I decided to leave when my son was a little over a year old. My ex and I were very civil and to this day (almost 4 years later) are pretty much best friends. We get along great, he takes our son two days a week, I have him five days. We talk every day about everything and especially how our son’s day was. We didn’t have any huge court battles over custody or anything, we were both mature and just decided how it would be and stuck to it. We split childcare down the middle and he pays our sons health insurance while I take care of clothes and everything else.

      It really doesn’t have to be horrible as long as you both are mature about it, don’t hold resentment towards each other and most certainly do NOT talk bad about the other parent to the children. Just realize things didn’t work out, this is the way it is, and embrace the change rather than fight it or be vindictive like some people can get after a relationship ends or after a divorce.

      As far as moving, I don’t have any advice there…I do know my ex would love to move back to Boston because that’s where his family is, but neither of us would move away from each other because our son being in both of our lives is too important to us. Not that extended family is not important, on the contrary. It’s just how things work out sometimes.

      Good luck to you, I hope everything works out :)

  2. QUESTION:
    need some advice how to explain divorce to young children?
    i recently caught by husband flirting with my lesbian lover, with whom ive been having a secret affair with for years. how do i explain to my children that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce because daddy cant keep it in his pants???

    • ANSWER:
      Don’t lie to them. Just tell them that daddy was sick of you and wanted some action so he won’t be living at home anymore.

  3. QUESTION:
    Is their any research about the benefits of talking to young children during divorce.?
    is any one aware of any research about the benefits of sharing with young children ,whats going on between their parents during divorce ,or any research against talking to the children.

    • ANSWER:
      As an adult survivor of a separation, I can attest to the fact that talking to your kids is tantamount to ensuring they have the best chances at successful relationships in their future.

      My mom separated from our family when I was 7, just for a summer. To this day, I’ve been going through life with nagging fear that women leave me, so in all of my relationships, I’ve acted with an intent to control the woman I’m with so she won’t leave. I’ve never been physically abusive or stalker-ish, but I have engaged in emotional abuse.

      I’ve only just learned this about myself. At the age of 37.

      Do yourself and your kids a favor and talk about life with them. They’re alive too, after all.

  4. QUESTION:
    How does divorce affect young children as they get older?
    If parents divorce when their children are youg (say 5 yrs. old or younger), how does living with one parent (either living with the mom or the dad) for the rest of their lives have an impact on them psychologically? If you know any good websites that deals w/ this issue, please send it.

    • ANSWER:
      I think it all depends on the parents and how they treat each other in front of the child. My X and I don’t get along, but in the presence of the child, even over the phone, we act as if everything is fine and we put aside our differences. We never talk bad about eachotehr in her presence either. We both create a happy life for the kid.

      My daughter doesn’t seem to be negatively effected by our divorce. She loves me, loves my wife now, knows what’s happeing, knows that I love her even though I’m not there 24/7, knows that she had nothing to do with the divorce (daughter was 3 at the time)

      It starts with you and how you and your X talk, explain things, and act around the child. Those who fight in front of the child, who talk bad about each other in front of the child are the ones I believe that will have children severly effected by divorce.

  5. QUESTION:
    How to make a divorce easier for young children?
    Me and my husband have been married for a lil over 3 years and will be together for 5 yrs in october.. We love each other but can no longer live together… We are ready to go our different ways.. We have two young children together 3 and 1 and he also has a 8 yr old from another marriage who lives with us full time, i have been in his live since he was 3… I am currently a stay at home mom and have been for 4 years, i have no job no money and no place to go with my children.. What can i do? What can we do to make the split up easier on all 3 kids? We want to go about with with out lawyers if we can manage.. We have been talking about splitting up our belongings but cant agree on whos is whos.. Before we got married i have nothing of my own i was fresh out of high school and he was 24 and had his own stuff and place.. And when it comes to the stuff we got together when married, he wants all the good stuff. ex. big screen tv, wii, hot tub and nice grill… I dont really care that much about the stuff but why should i be left with nothing? If anyone has any ideas at all please help me.. I dont know what to do.. but i do know i need to leave and my kids are coming with me..

    • ANSWER:
      My ex husband and I are very good friends now. We had an amicable divorce, however there were times along the way when we didn’t get along at all. It’s best to get along for the kid’s sake, but that doesn’t make it any easier. You will both have to compromise on a lot of things, and at times eat crow, but you can do it if you really want to. As far as the stuff goes he should be fair and if the kids are going with you he should go ahead and give you the stuff they will use like the wii. You also should probably go ahead and start looking for a job. If you have family you could stay with for a little while till you get on your feet it would be great.
      Good Luck!!


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