Divorce After Kids Leave



A Family Christmas After Divorce

The popular saying goes like this: “Breaking up is hard to do.” Yet, when it comes to marriage in the U.S., a large percentage of us do it. Divorce, however unpleasant, is commonplace in today’s society, and dealing with it during the holidays is a fact of life with which adults and children alike must deal.

A divorce – especially a fresh one – can be particularly trying during the holidays. The Yuletide season is one of giving and family, and the dissonance of a divorce can greatly threaten the joy of the season. The challenge to adults is to keep Christmas spirits high for the children. Just because a relationship has been ruined doesn’t mean a child’s Christmas has to be ruined as well. Here are some tips for making sure that doesn’t happen this holiday season.

Put Your Kids First – Christmas is a selfless season. It’s a time when we focus on charity. Keep it that way. Think not of yourself or how to “one-up” your ex-spouse. Instead, focus on the needs of your kids. Ask yourself what you can do to ensure the holidays are happy and productive for them. Then do it.

Buy Your Ex a Gift – As much as kids love getting gifts, they also want to be part of the giving. They revel in the opportunity to give both mommy and daddy a gift or two, and it’s up to you to help make that possible. Your little one has no money and no transportation, so the only way they’re getting your spouse a gift is if you suck it up and take them Christmas shopping. Don’t be the parent that’s too proud to buy your ex a gift. It’s the child you’ll end up hurting anyway.

Don’t Hog the Kids – There may be a custodial agreement in place where the kids spend Christmas with mommy one year and then with daddy the next. Everyone loses when that happens. Unless mommy and daddy live too far apart, there is no reason the kids can’t see both. Perhaps they spend the majority of Christmas Eve at one place, then move to the other to spend the night and wake up on Christmas morning. Next year reverse roles so that both parents have the opportunity to watch the little ones wake up on Christmas morning and see what Santa left them. See what you can work out with your spouse. Remember, do what’s in the best interest of the child.

Don’t Take the Phone Off the Hook – When it isn’t possible for one parent to see the children on Christmas for whatever reason, don’t shut them out completely. Let the kids call them to say “Merry Christmas.”

Old Habits Die Hard – Since Christmas is about family traditions, a divorce naturally fractures those traditions. That’s especially hard on the kids. When it’s possible to maintain an old tradition, such as helping mommy make cookies or helping daddy select a tree, do so. When it’s not, start new traditions with your kids. They need them.

Don’t Bad-Mouth Your Ex – If you need to complain about your ex, do so to your adult friends – and don’t do it in the presence of your children. No matter how you feel about your ex, your children still love them and look up to them. Don’t hurt your kids by badmouthing their mommy or daddy.

About the author: Brought to you by Imaginary Greetings, a regular contributor of valuable family oriented content. For additional tips on how to truly light up your child’s eyes this holiday season like never before visit http://www.greetingsfromsanta.com.

Source: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=100443&ca=Family+Concerns

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    Is it ok to leave kids with husband after a divorce?
    The dad is great, girls (5&8) love him. He is financially better suited. Why does it seem so wrong? Why is totally ok for the dad to leave kids with the mom?

    • ANSWER:
      You’re not alone. According to the most recent Census Bureau statistics, 2.2 million women lack custody of their children in the U.S.

      Despite those numbers, unfortunately, there is still a stigma against non-custodial mothers. There are those who still believe that all women have a strong ‘maternal instinct’ and if anyone is different than that, then they’re somehow flawed or ‘bad’.

      In most cases, the mother usually is the appropriate parent to get full custody. However, there are a number of cases where the children are better off with the father. It should be done on a case-by-case basis.

      No one should be judging non-custodial mothers. They don’t know why that mother might not have custody….the mother may have chosen not to seek custody for valid reasons.

  2. QUESTION:
    Can i leave the state of indiana with my kids after a divorce?
    I want to leave Indiana when i get divorced. Problem is i have my kids i wanna take with. Am i able to do that?

    • ANSWER:

  3. QUESTION:
    after divorce can the mother of my kids leave the uk to live in germany?

    without my permission?
    also can anyone provideme with a link to any information ??xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    leave the country with my kids…

    • ANSWER:
      Of course she can. Bringing the kids with her is another matter. I know that between Holland and the US there is an agreement to abide by whichever country’s court system makes a decision first on child custody, so you want to ask for custody right away in the UK. If they decide that she’s not allowed to take the kids to Germany, then hopefully Germany has a similar agreement with the UK. EU laws probably would uphold the UK’s decision if it is made before Germany does.

  4. QUESTION:
    Can English woman bring kids back to England from Australia after divorce?
    Australian man & English woman meet in England, get married. Live and work in England for 5 years and have 2 small children (dual nat). Man gets job in W. Australia, all go to live there this year. Marriage been on rocks since they got there and last week man left wife and wants divorce. Can wife come home to England with children? Man took kids passports, said kids not leaving Oz.

    • ANSWER:
      You would have to get custody and the courts permission..

  5. QUESTION:
    My husband is in the military and wants a divorce after 9 years. He my 5 kids and I needed to leave quarters.?
    Will I be able to stay in quarters until the divorce is final, and will I be able to recieve alimony I have had like 2 jobs in 9 years. and have not worked in the last like 7 years except like for maybe 6 months. I do not want a divorce and we are going through counseling. I do not think he is real serious about the counseling and just does not want any of the responsibility. I am not worried about custody, I do not know how I will support myself or my 3 choldren.

    • ANSWER:
      If he doesn’t want to be with you any more, then start working to save money. Ask the judge for 12 months of alimony. That will give you some time to find a job and save even more money.



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