The Challenges of Dating a Divorced Man
He is well groomed, not so bad looking, caring and sensitive only that he has recently divorced. You really feel he is your kind of man and you are ready to date him. Every one has his small weaknesses here and there. Maybe they are the same weaknesses that led to the divorce. It is compatibility that ensures the success of a relationship. How accommodative are you? Do you think it is possible to live with this divorcee the way he is? Rule out the hope that he will change as you fall in love or you will change him to suit your preferred specifications of a Mr.Right. It is the gravest mistake that a woman makes. When dating a divorced man, remember he will always remain the way he is in terms of behavior. Or as folklore rightly puts it the behavior of a man is like the colour of his skin, you cannot change it.
It is always good to establish for how long has this man been divorced. He ought to have overcome the hangover of the previous relationship before starting a new one. When dating a divorced man and he is still nursing the hangover of the now broken marriage, be very cautious. You will be treading on very shaky ground. It would be advisable to give him time. Let him finish sorting himself out. Allow him into your life when he is very sober and with a clear and focused mind. He will use his now divorced wife as a yardstick against you. You will always be compared and contrasted against his former wife. Why can’t you cook like my wife does. My wife wouldn’t tolerate this or that! Be very frightened sister because there are invisible strings attaching this man to his former wife. He is yet to come out of the hangover.
Be prudent and establish whether the issue of children and property was legally settled out and if so was it conclusive. What about the custody of the children and their welfare if the man had children. Was the issue of dividing the estate amicably settled? Why am i saying all this? You would rightly say that you are less concerned. But remember it is not logical to invite unnecessary stress to your life. You are dating a divorced man and his problems will be yours also. It might not happen but who knows one you might be compelled to shoulder some of his problems. Some of these issues might haunt you even till old age. You might inherit a part or his entire estate only to be disinherited by his children from the previous marriage.
If you are serious on settling with the person, it would be advisable to discuss every minor details. If his children are under his custody, are you comfortable living with them? Do you think they will accept you into their lives? Are you relating well with them or they resent you? A marriage institution is as among the hardest institutions to maintain. Otherwise why do you think divorce cases have risen to unprecedented levels today? Be sure of yourself, settle and agree on all issues of concern before committing yourself especially when dating a divorced man.